My Immortal and the reposting
by That Strange kid at School
Summary: Yes,I will be posting it on here.Why would I do that?I want people to see the horror known as Tara Gil-however she spells is is basically what not to do in a fanfiction.Rated M for being the worst piece of crap on this site.
1. Chapter 1

Hello ladies and gents! I am reposting My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie,or however you spell her fucking name. Why? Because this is what you should not do in a 't know who she is,then here

_**Tara Gilesbie** aka **XXXbloodyrists666XXX** aka **goffikgurl666**: The girl whose terrible writing single-handedly brought the internet to its knees. Have you read the above section on Ebony Way? Good. Well, being that Tara is a suethor, her description is basically the same, minus the vampirism, magical powers, and attractiveness to the opposite sex. Tara has the strange habit of classifying the world based on three distinct groups: preps (people who like Hilary Duff, the color pink, or anything that Tara dislikes), posers (people like Avril Lavigne who pretend to be goth) and goths (people like her; morons). Tara defines herself by her goffikness. She wears goffik clothes, listens to goffik music, watches goffik movies, cuts her wrists, worships Satan, and eats Count Chocula. She's a troo hardcore goff._

_Tara's last name has numerous spellings (Gilesbie/Gilespie/Gillespie/etc), since she seems incapable of even spelling that correctly on a consistent basis. She supposedly lives in Dubai or something, but is apparently able to make trips to the States every week to go shopping at Hot Topic. Tara claims that pop-punk band Good Charlotte has made a huge impact on her life, as their song, Hold On, convinced her not to commit suicide after hearing it on the radio. She was upset at the time, because her boyfriend broke up with her, and her crush didn't like her. She did date a (imaginary) guy called Justin, until she broke up with him and went out with some guy named Gareth Vandersleld. Tara reportedly has a little sister named Trista, who is also a goffik HP fanfic writer (profile viewable here). Like her sister, she has had all of her fanfics deleted due to severe suckage. Tara has denied that Trista is her sister, though. In actuality, it's probably just one of the innumerable trolls that have made copycat accounts. Nobody really knows. The notion that Tara lives in Dubai is also up for debate. It's all a huge mystery._

_Tara has a very distinct writing style. She uses many different kinds of experimental liberties with her prose and thus can be compared to contemporary writers such as Haruki Murakami, Bret Easton Ellis, Margaret Atwood, and a chimpanzee with Down Syndrome. She is also dyslexic (or DYKSELIKIC, as she puts it), which would explain why she can't spell anything correctly and writes in a weird short-hand that looks like she's typing text messages with her feet. Despite hardly being able to write in English, she also claims to have an interest in Japanese; because if you're going to be a shitty goth HP fanfic writer, you might as well be a weeaboo, too. Quite interesting is her approach to description of character and setting. She often completely ignores the little things - such as where a certain part of the story is taking place - and then expounds on her own overwhelming interest in fashion by describing her character's clothing, hair and makeup at great length. Tara's writing style is also characterized by its abundant use of author's notes, breaking the fourth wall so many times that it's reduced to merely a knee-high pile of rubble. A final note on her writing style is her horribly incorrect use of adverbs, with a particular fondness for describing actions as "sexily," "gothically," and "suicidally" (these are all real quotes, btw):_

_**"I asked gothikally."** **"Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily."** **"I ran suicidally to my room nd I sexily took a steak out." "'Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111' I screemed passively as he got an erucation."**_

_Despite her constant claims of how she's so goffik and dark, Tara is really the textbook definition of a poser. Having no idea what the term "gothic" actually means, she bases her whole personality around her love of Hot Topic, a store that couldn't be more mainstream, where spoiled suburban white kids go for their prepackaged, overpriced, fake subculture needs. Also of note is the fact that pretty much every shitty emo band she fawns over is just some variation of pop (Punk-Pop, Power-Pop, Emo-Pop, whatever). A final note on the matter is an in-text justification of Tara's secret preppiness; From Chapter 15 - **""I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story."** While Tara claims to hate Hilary Duff, she still reveals that she has seen A Cindarella Story, a movie made of sheer preppiness, and far outside her usual movie viewing habits of Tim Burton films and shitty horror flicks. Gothic? Myth busted._

_It is quite possible that everything stated above is false. I have done some detective work across the internet and it seems that Tara Gilesbie does not actually exist in the usual sense. According to her second fanfiction profile and a link to her deviantart account that it contains, Tara is actually a boy who goes by the name of Todd Gilesbie. Whether this is yet another psuedonym is unknown. (From now on, the pronoun used for Todd/Tara will generally be xe as it is gender neutral and the gender of the writer is unknown.) Xe states in the second profile that Tara Gilesbie doesn't exist and that xe created her as a joke, which then went too far. Xe says he was bullied, so xe wrote My Immortal as a way of expressing xer feelings. Of course, this second account may or may not be a false. There is no reason to believe either is the case. The spelling on the profile of this second account is actually readable, which in itself is suspicious, although there is still the overuse of "geddit?"._

_Recently, as of November 16th, 2012, another suspected profile belonging to Tara was found. The person who found it (the person who added this edit - the amazing Katie Buckley) looked through the person's stories and found many parallels with Tara's work. Both the recently found story and My Immortal feature a Mary-Sue with an obscenely long name, hot Harry's, riding to gothic band concerts in cars, and things like that. You are welcome to go look at the account - her name is GothPrincess666 and one of her Favorite Authors is Raven. I just request that you not troll her too much, otherwise she might delete the story or something._

_The chance that Tara is really just a random troll sitting back in their computer chair as they laugh at people complaining over My Immortal is quite high._

Yes I did get this from the wiki

Anyway here is the first chapter,laugh your asses off and enjoy.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome to another chapter of...MY IMMORTAL!Are your eyes bleeding yet?**

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

**How many of you want to die, if so keep reading.**

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore!

_Chapter Five also_

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

_And chapter 6_

_AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!_

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_The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple._

_In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top._

_"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko._

_"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice._

_"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned._

_"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled._

_"Why?" I exclaimed._

_"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled._

_"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed._

_"Really?" he whimpered._

_"Yeah." I roared._

_We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him._


	5. Chapter 5

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep!

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears


End file.
